It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
