This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
