i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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