I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
