saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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