I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize