Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
