Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
