I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
