i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
