Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
