Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
