How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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