if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
