i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
