i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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