found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
