just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
