Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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