So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
