I CAN MOONWALK!
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
