Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Yo quero taco bell

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  (857): He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef (617): Yo quero taco bell http://tfl.nu/9ye7
  Replies (4) Good night (816) Bad night (1151)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  Call me "white mamba"

  (334): View more from Alabama

  Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake

  (251): View more from Alabama

  It is white.

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  (251): Call me "white mamba" (334): Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake (251): It is white. http://tfl.nu/1p0c
  Replies (5) Good night (1027) Bad night (1454)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.

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  (604): she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me. http://tfl.nu/s0lh
  Replies (73) Good night (1226) Bad night (17528)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring

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  (647): ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring http://tfl.nu/c0bs
  Replies (19) Good night (1115) Bad night (4889)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face

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  (856): my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face http://tfl.nu/f36p
  Replies (3) Good night (1098) Bad night (3383)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center

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  (509): She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center http://tfl.nu/9ea5
  Replies (14) Good night (5249) Bad night (1172)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted

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  (847): I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted http://tfl.nu/5rf7
  Replies (6) Good night (2471) Bad night (1042)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze

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  (912): Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze http://tfl.nu/0gjr
  Replies (13) Good night (4366) Bad night (1195)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective

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  (512): I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective http://tfl.nu/bge2
  Replies (8) Good night (1548) Bad night (555)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT

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  (902): WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT http://tfl.nu/q56u
  Replies (6) Good night (683) Bad night (2571)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.

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  (502): Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room. http://tfl.nu/s5zk
  Replies (4) Good night (1475) Bad night (805)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good

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  (860): Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum (1-860): I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good http://tfl.nu/bjb1
  Replies (7) Good night (853) Bad night (335)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?

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  (850): Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean? http://tfl.nu/rbfp
  Replies (5) Good night (770) Bad night (362)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.

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  (413): I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket. http://tfl.nu/1du9
  Replies (0) Good night (383) Bad night (265)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I am one hundred percent down for that

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  (773): I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight (708): I am one hundred percent down for that http://tfl.nu/mtzh
  Replies (3) Good night (366) Bad night (163)

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