Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(315): View more from New York

Random question, how's your gag reflex these days

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(315): Random question, how's your gag reflex these days http://tfl.nu/0fku

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(949): View more from California

I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?

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(949): I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping? http://tfl.nu/8mwq

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(662): View more from Mississippi

they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.

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(662): they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments. http://tfl.nu/u5vp

Replies (10) Good night (2742) Bad night (1242)
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(360): View more from Washington

In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip

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(360): In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip http://tfl.nu/ivxr

Replies (3) Good night (1965) Bad night (706)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.

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(856): You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning. http://tfl.nu/7ekl

Replies (3) Good night (919) Bad night (1786)
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(251): View more from Alabama

I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.

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(251): I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer. http://tfl.nu/4bxr

Replies (14) Good night (2317) Bad night (1033)
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(206): View more from Washington

i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.

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(206): i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment. http://tfl.nu/5sgm

Replies (2) Good night (1756) Bad night (1301)
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(312): View more from Illinois

I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?

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(312): I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp? http://tfl.nu/sqhc

Replies (20) Good night (3596) Bad night (814)
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(806): View more from Texas

Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap

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(806): Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap http://tfl.nu/wtva

Replies (5) Good night (1438) Bad night (560)
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(805): View more from California

No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.

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(805): No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard. http://tfl.nu/br69

Replies (5) Good night (2316) Bad night (632)
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(231): View more from Michigan

A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.

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(231): A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners. http://tfl.nu/ba89

Replies (11) Good night (2418) Bad night (617)
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(248): View more from Michigan

It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.

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(248): It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk. http://tfl.nu/m630

Replies (7) Good night (1469) Bad night (442)
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(806): View more from Texas

Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.

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(806): Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment. http://tfl.nu/1xps

Replies (7) Good night (966) Bad night (390)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

My legs feel like baby dolphins

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(919): My legs feel like baby dolphins http://tfl.nu/f40w

Replies (0) Good night (436) Bad night (175)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

How are you feeling?

(435): View more from Utah

I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.

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(774): How are you feeling? (435): I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad. http://tfl.nu/eomx

Replies (0) Good night (296) Bad night (110)

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