it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
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College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
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Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job