Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.

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  (630): I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof. http://tfl.nu/he9o
  Replies (4) Good night (1208) Bad night (615)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.

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  (515): i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move. http://tfl.nu/cgsd
  Replies (22) Good night (964) Bad night (4401)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.

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  (609): he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea. http://tfl.nu/w4ku
  Replies (17) Good night (737) Bad night (6729)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.

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  (330): Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT. http://tfl.nu/98ye
  Replies (27) Good night (1341) Bad night (6226)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.

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  (954): We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles. http://tfl.nu/w60i
  Replies (38) Good night (6358) Bad night (833)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break

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  (941): still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break http://tfl.nu/6afp
  Replies (9) Good night (4501) Bad night (720)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".

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  (864): We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me". http://tfl.nu/ag7w
  Replies (3) Good night (3378) Bad night (925)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?

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  (775): Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again? http://tfl.nu/oao4
  Replies (20) Good night (1138) Bad night (7585)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.

  (518): View more from New York

  I am in love with you.

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  (203): Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think. (518): I am in love with you. http://tfl.nu/yy5e
  Replies (5) Good night (5247) Bad night (997)
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  (+32): View more from Belgium

  this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk

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  (+32): this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk http://tfl.nu/muj2
  Replies (8) Good night (3096) Bad night (1011)
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  (310): View more from California

  he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed

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  (310): he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed http://tfl.nu/t2n3
  Replies (15) Good night (2918) Bad night (1643)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze

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  (912): Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze http://tfl.nu/0gjr
  Replies (13) Good night (4572) Bad night (1371)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue

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  (859): I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue http://tfl.nu/ia6b
  Replies (18) Good night (4274) Bad night (2087)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.

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  (817): I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox. http://tfl.nu/4k53
  Replies (4) Good night (1215) Bad night (582)
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  (747): View more from California

  I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you

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  (747): I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you http://tfl.nu/r95i
  Replies (1) Good night (278) Bad night (606)

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