Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
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I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
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Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?