I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
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I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE