I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
This is the high leading the old right now
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.