you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
