Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
