somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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