some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Screwed.edu
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Randomize
