he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
