so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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