Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
