He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
