you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
we're so committed to being not committed
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
