They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
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i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
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Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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