if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
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This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
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I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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