i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
