I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
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I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
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Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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