I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I'm bleeding and have questions
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
