I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
