I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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