She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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