i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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