I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
