if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
