All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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