At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
