You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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