If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
