And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
