Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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