I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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