somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
