I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
