Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
