distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
