you're like a bully in the Christmas story
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
