I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
