She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
