I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
