Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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