Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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